Problems with the Senkaimon makes a gathering at the Rockbell's
by jmtothemusic
Summary: When Kisuke sends Orihime, Chad, Uryu and Ichigo to the wrong world, the four of them meet a strangely short blonde boy and his tin can brother, who invite them to the Rockbell home. Soon, Soul society goes looking for them and ends up stuck in the house too! Friendships are made, heros and villains are stuck in a bed together, and everyone goes mad. Very slight! au.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

**A/N: this starts out extremely goofy. I wrote it a while ago, so it's raw and not as good as my other stories. But, I think it's funny, so ENJOY!**

"Is it done yet?" Ichigo asked. He, Orihime, Uryu and Chad were going back to Soul Society. Ichigo wanted to get stronger; no, he NEEDED to get stronger. Everyone depended on him.

"Just a minute, jeeze, calm your beens." Kisuke said. He wanted Ichigo to defeat Aizen as much as everyone else who was involved. Well, besides Aizen.

"You know I cant eat beans!"

"That's why i said it."

"Why can't u eat beans Kurisaki?" Orihime questioned. Just the night before, Ichigo had sent an email to the group, stating that he wanted to visit Soul Society and perhaps get a little extra training from Youruichi. Orihime knew this was an oppertunity to get closer to him, and no way would she leave him alone with Rukia, (as much as she liked her). The others only agreed to come because as long as they lived in this world, they believed they had a duty to protect it, even if it meant tagging along with Ichigo Kurisoki.

"No reason."

"He can't pass it."

"KISUKE!" How embarrasing! But no matter how embarassing that is, he could always have brought up the time Kisuke was on the toilet because of the expired meds. But, Ichigo needed to stay on his good side, after all, he was the one who was opening up the Senkaimon for them. And that was the only way they would get to Soul Society.

But Kisuke was having too much fun.

"Yup, just last night i invited him over, he was discussing some stuff with me over dinner, and when we went to bed, i kept hearing a sort of rubbery sound, and smelling quite an odd scent," Ichigo was pretty pissed. Kisuke continued, "He was farting all night long. God, i should have thought that through more!" Everyone shifted in discomfort. Orihime just looked awkward.

"Yea, if you thought more, you would have remembered the time you were stuck on the toilet because of some stupid cold meds!" The minute it was out, he regretted it. Kisuke was just trying to brighten up the mood a little, and Ichigo was starting an actual fight here. 'Guess all the pressure was getting to him.

Kisuke didn't seem to notice, and instead of fighting, said, "Well, here ya go! To Soul society and beyond! Best luck with Aizen saminch*!"

"Thanks!", Orihime said, "take care of yourself!"

And the group was off.

...

Upon arriving, there was an immediate feeling of uncertainty.

"Guys, this doesn't look like Soul Society!" Uryu stated the obvious. There were many fields, sheep on the dirt roads, and a big yellow house in the distance. Oh, and most importantly, in one of the distant fields, there was a blonde boy fighting a tin can.

"Kurisaki? Are we lost?" Orihime's innocent tone came. The four stood dumbfound until Chad finally spoke up. "Why don't we ask someone where we are."

"Right!"

They silently chose the little blonde boy. at least there was nothing intimidating about him, right? They wouldn't risk having to talk about there situation, they thought. They were SO wrong.

"Hey!" Ichigo called out. It was clear they didn't hear.

"Maybe they can't see us, I mean, we're prepared for Soul Society." Uryu started, as they continued on the seemingly endless trudge forward, panting, heat exhausted. How the two fighting on the hill did it, they didn't know.

"Kurisaki, they don't see us-" Orihime stopped herself when suddenly the two figures began to sprint towards them, energetically.

"Hey, whattaya need?" The blonde boy had one hand on one hip, the other dangling at his side, holding a towel. He stood about Toshiro's height, and his way of talking was so disrespectful, they doubted he was a child at all.

"Hi," Ichigo started, looking down at the kid, sort of surprise written on his face. "We're a little lost.. where are we?"

"This is Resimbool. What, did u take the wrong train?"

This shocked the group momentarily. Who rides trains? And where's "Resimboul"?

Orihime broke the short silence, "I guess so. Are there any inns here that we can stay at?"

"No. Your basically in the middle of no where. You guys from the city?"

"Sure, whatever." was Ichigos best answer. He turned to the rest of the group, and asked, "What do we do?"

"I guess we can find somewhere to stay for the time being." said Uryu

"Can we stay at your house?" pleaded Orihime innocently.

As the boy was about to begin, Suddenly the tin can said something. But the real surprise was that the voice inside wasn't deep and scary like the outer appearance of the armor, but was that of a kind child.

"Brother, I don't know if Winry is gonna want a bunch of strangers in her house."

"Yea, I don't know if i want them either." He glared up at the strangers, and scoffed, then mumbled to himself about how he is so NOT short. No one really caught on to what he said. He then proceeded to turn and walk away without giving any explanation to where he was off to.

"Please, we have no where else to go." Orihime said. For some reason this triggered something and made the boy stop. He turned to the can, who nodded.

**"My name is Edward Elric and this is my younger brother Alphonse."

"Younger brother?" Ichigo asked.

"Yes." Ed said, trying not to get mad. "What about you?"

"My name is Ichigo Kurosaki." Ichigo said. "This is Orihime Inoue, Yasutora Sado, we also call him Chad, and this guy is Uryu Ishida."

"Weird names if you ask me." Ed said.

"What was that, shorty?" Ichigo asked. "You're the one with the weird names."

"Ichigo," Orhime said. "We shouldn't fight when we just met them."

"I don't think you should be carrying sword around with you." Ed said.

"You mean Zangetsu?" Ichigo said.

"The sword has a name?" Ed asked.

"It's called a Zanpakuto." Ichigo said. "Every Zanpakuto has a name."

"That's strange." Ed said.

"So," Uryu began, "Do you have a place to stay?"

"Don't you think it's impolite to ask that question when we just got here?" Ichigo said.

"Well Kisuke messed up the Senkaimon and I don't think we'll be leaving any time soon." Uryu stated.

"I guess you have a point there." Ichigo agreed. "So, do you have a place to stay?" **

He sighed, "I don't have a house here, I just come here once in a while because we have friends here. We're staying with Winry Rockbell. I just don't know if she'll let you in. Too many people."

"But brother", Alphonse insisted, "We're leaving tomorrow for Central, Colonel Mustang has a new mission for you. And you said that you wanted to correct that homoncu-"

"I get it!" He lashed out. Alphonse took a step back, and Ichigo's group didn't see the sadness that was glowing in his soul filled eyes. "Sorry, Al. Sure, you guys can ask her, but she might hit you."

Ed and Al shuddered. The fear written on the groups faces was hillarius, and all they could think of is what this "Winry" woman was going to look and act like. They thought of witches, and muscles, and warts. When they reached the house, and Ed knocked, everyone gulped. Orihime prayed.

"Hey Ed, who are they?" A pretty blue eyed blonde girl stood in the doorway, holding a wrench and wearing a mini skirt, eyed them all from head to toe. They all searched her for warts and witches brooms.

Ed scratched his head. "Well, uhh... Funny story actually uhh... We found them wandering and they don't have a place to stay i thought since i was leaving tomorrow and since you are so nice and everything and 'cuz your parents would be so proud to hear that there little Winry is such a sweetheart-"

"Sure, Ed." said Winry, cutting him off from his never ending point. "Come in, Granny is making stew, I'm making automail!"

Ed moaned, Al bowed, the rest smiled.

...

That night, Al took the couch (to Ed's dismay), Winry shared with Orihime, Chad and Uryu shared, and Ichigo and Ed went to the guest room.

"Thank you for letting us stay here..." Orihime said, inside Winry's room, while buttoning up her night shirt.

"No problem. However long you need. Ed and Al are leaving tomorrow, so it'll be more quiet." Winry said. There was wistfulness in her tone, while she finished up with some screws in her mechanical arm thingies.

"If you don't mind me asking, why do Ed and Al stay here? And why did you let me in without question?"

Winry paused. "...Orihime, you seem like a really nice person, but I can't really tell you so many things about Ed and Al without them telling me I can. But they burned down there home when they were little kids. They made a mistake and are out to fix it, so they only turn back here when Ed needs... uh... a check-up. They don't have a home. I let you in because I trust there judgment, and mostly because that's what my parents would have done."

"I see. I don't have parents either. I'm sorry."

"...You too..?"

"Yeah...I grew up with my brother, mostly. And well...he's gone now, too."

"I'm so sorry to hear that...I know it's hard, I've still got Granny though."

There was a comfortable silence between the two girls; a quiet understanding that didn't need words to fill it.

"They were doctors in the war..." Winry broke the silence, deciding to tell Orihime about her situation, "and helped both military and Ishvalans the same. So they were killed for it."

"Gosh, that's terrible," responded Orihime, putting a hand up to her eyes, remembering the pain that she felt when her brother died. "by the way, is that a prosthetic?"

"Yea! I'm an automail engineer!"

"Wow! That's so cool! SO how does it work?"

"Well-"

There chatting could be heard across the hall where Chad and Uryu were already napping peacefully.

...

**_Ed's room; _**

"Ugh." Ed moaned. His hands were swiping across the paper, seemingly repeating the same stroke over and over again.

"Cramming for a test? I know how you feel." said Ichigo

"No, I don't have time for school. I'm doing paper work."

"PAPER WORK?! Your like, ten years old!"

"_Fourteen_! I'm in the military and i have to go on some retarded ass mission tomorrow which is supposed to get me closer to where I wanna be, but that never works out, does it?!"

Ichigo was shocked. _Military? A kid?! Mission?!_

"Kid, why don't you just do that on the ride over and get some sleep now?"

Ed suddenly stopped ranting on and on about 'Colonel Bastard' and 'stones' and shit.

"Good idea!" he said joyously, and plopped down on the bed burying his face into the pillows.

"Hey, move over!"

"Fine, fine... ass hole. "

"...If you don't mind, I'd like some kind of explaination on why you live here... I mean, it's only temporary, and you said you al and Winry were childhood friends, implying you lived together, but that you don't have a house."

"I'll tell you why I'm here if you tell me why you're here. Equivalent exchange."

Ichigo didn't know what "equal exchange" was, but he brushed it off.

"Fine. I'm here because my friend teacher thing opened the Senkaimon and I ended up in the wrong world, aka, here."

_Wrong...world..?! And what the Hell is a "Slinkyman"?! This guy really pisses me off with his matter-of -fact tone, and his **stupid** haircut. Man, I could really sock him one..._Edward thought.

Ed looked puzzled (to Ichigo), but took his turn to brush something off.

"Ok, I grew up here, my dad left, Mom died, made a huge mistake, then decided to leave to retrieve what was lost from my brother. I burned down my house so I wouldn't turn back, but sometimes I need Winry to... help me with something."

Ichigo wanted to know what this boy needed help with from Winry, and when Ed refused to say more unless Ichigo did, he just sat awake thinking dirty thoughts about what it was Ed needed 'help' with.

* * *

Gosh, could this kid get any more weird?! First he doesn't show any respect to the older kids, then his "little" brother is wearing a ten foot tall suit of armor, he's got golden eyes to match his golden hair, BURNS DOWN HIS OWN HOUSE, and wont tell what he "needed help with"? But, to top it off, he's also in the military, and.. LOOK WHAT HE'S WEARING!

Eventually, Ed broke Ichigo's thoughts."Why did you need to go to the 'other world?'"

Ichigo turned to the little boy. "Because I have to get stronger to help people. The only way I can is if I defeat...Aizen."

"So you have to kill him?"

"...if it comes to that, yes."

"...I don't like killing. But there are these... _creatures_ that cause wars and suffering... and I'm responsible for the existence of one of them... so I have to kill... all seven of the deadly sins. With my two bear hands."

"Seems like a dirty job. I don't know if i wanna kill Aizen, I kinda feel... like he's doing this all for a reason. And he seems lonely."

"Anyone who kills shouldn't be forgiven, it's wrong no matter the reason. But I understand why you don't wanna do it."

"Yea. I don't know, Ed. Let's talk tommorrow."

"Don't forget, I'm leaving tomorrow."

"When'll you be back?"

"...when ever we fix this, if we live."

"In that case...*sigh*... good luck."

"Yeah, you too." Were Ed's final words, before rolling over, and drifting into a restless nightmare with his new friend beside him. For some reason, Ichigo felt more and more confident in his power, with each breath he and Ed shared.

**A/N: Hey people! This is something I wrote when I was 11 (i think) and so I just edited it and uploaded. It's obviously gonna be humor and about friendship, maybe some action too.**

***~Saminch is a german word that means ass or something.**

**** ~Oh, I got that part I stared from another xover but I can't find the author. I remember she/he abandoned after the first 2 chapters, so I just borrowed it. **

**UPDATE FOR **; I found the fic, it's called 'Bleach meets Fma'. She/he updated it too (sorry idk if it's a boy or girl author. good writer though!) Check it out. It's completely different than this fic, though, because it goes more to a fighting Scar plot. This one is just humor with some drama. And a splash of action. I don't intend to use any ideas from that fiction at all, because my writing style is completely different. I will be aiming toward character development and a friendship aspect. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**I'm sorry about the lack of editing in the 1st chapter; please understand that I wrote this when I turned 11, and it was meant for only me and my sister. I have officially edited this chapter. It's funny. Enjoy! :D**

That morning, Ichigo awoke to find the mattress beside him empty. He rose, wiping the sleep from his eyes, then stepped on the hard wood floor to begin the journey to the kitchen.

A delectable scent filled his nostrils; one that could only be described by him as 'yum'. '_This place is better than any inn! I mean, home cooked meals, no pay, not to mention, we met some new friends! How could this get any better?!'_Thought Ichigo.

He tiredly arrived in the kitchen, to see the smoking midget cooking a meal big enough for everyone in Soul Society._ Yup! Just got better!_

Looking to his left, He found a long, rectangular table, with Chad and Uryu sitting there. Chad was wearing, to everyones surprise, pink pj's with my little pony's on them. Uryu was wearing some _Ralph Lauren_ blue silk pj's which only a sissy boy could pull off.

Ichigo couldn't contain his laughter. He burst out, sheer joy pulsating across his facial features, and questioned, "WHY DO YOU TWO LOOK LIKE YOU JUST CAME OUT OF _'GIRLS WHO LIKE BOYS WHO LIKE BOYS'_ CHANNEL?! I mean, _where_ did you get those cheesy pajama's?! And since when does Chad wear pink?!"

Uryu clenched his fist, and started on a lecture about mens fashion and how his pajama's are limited edition brands and only an idiot with no taste would not understand the beauty in his pants. (lol) To Ichigo, though, it just sounded like this; _*

_"__But," Uryu continued, "I am curious Chad; where did you get those?" _

"Winry lent them to me." He said.

Ichigo chuckled, "Why would she own pajama's that size?"

Pinako turned from the french toast that was drifting through the house. "When she was a little girl, she bought those for her father on his birthday, and sent them out to him. In his will, she received them back, because she used to love ponies."

Their heads hung. Ichigo thought, _His will. So both Ed, Al, and Winry's parents are dead. I should tell the others what Ed told me. OH! _

"Ms. Pinako, where are Ed and Al?"

"Beats me, they never tell me where there off to, they just go without saying goodbye, or thank you... just left me the check on the table, as if i want his money."

Chad and Uryu turned to Ichigo. "Money? His?" They said in unison.

Ichigo replied, "Yeah, apparently they accepted a little kid into the military. I'll tell you everything i know when Orihime gets here. By the way Ms. Pinako, where is Winry?"

"She's either still sleeping, or she's sulking on her balcony. God knows, I just want to settle down but with these crazy kids around, I honestly can't. They say they don't have anywhere to go back to, but I'm only around here for them. Oh, and you guys now too. You can call me Granny, or Granny Pinako, whatever floats your boat."

Orihime meandered into the kitchen, upon seeing her, you'd know that she followed her nose all the way there. She wore a button up nightgown, in a soft lavender, and she had the appearance of a tired women; Her hair was mangled, eyes were sagging though her hands were still wiping, and her baggy gown made her look smaller than ever. Even though she was disheveled, Uryu still blushed. Ichigo thought, _maybe I was wrong about Uryu.**_

"Good morning Orihime!" Everyone said in unison, clearly shocking her awake. Her eyes popped up, then followed by a breath-taking smile.

"Good morning everyone! Breakfast smells amazing! Winry is on her balcony looking for Ed and Al, can someone get her? I can't seem to cheer her up, but i bet just the smell of this meal will~!"

"I'm surprised we woke up before you," said Ichigo, "you're usually up HOURS before us!"

"Oh I know Kurisaki!" Orihime started, "But Winry and I were up so late talking that I decided to sleep in today! She told me a little about her parents and I talked a little about mine. She also showed me a little bit of her automail!"

"Cool, Sado and I want to know what happened with all of you guy's chats, but first we wanna tell you what we discussed. Does anyone know why Alphonse wears that giant suit of armor? And why didn't he change for dinner?"

Everyone paused in thought. No one had a clue. Pinako spoke up.

"They'll tell you in time, if you ever see them again."

Everyone paused in confusion. Instead of speaking up, they stuffed food in their mouths, waiting for Winry to return, just as she was waiting for Edward and Alphonse.

* * *

Winry let out a breath, as if the exhale would let out all of her mixed emotions along with all of the Carbon Dioxide in her lungs. It didn't happen.

_Why do they always do this? Why can't they say goodbye to us?! Aren't we good enough? _ She questioned her own mind, hoping that THIS TIME she would receive an answer. Just like her exhale theory, it hadn't happened.

Staring off into the view, she allowed her thoughts to wander. What are they doing now? Why are they leaving in the first place in such a hurry?

_Remember, Ed and Al haven't ever told anyone where they were going. No way would they let me worry about them on their travels. _

But just as that thought came, it should have left. Nobody understood the brothers' intentions to protect everyone they met.

* * *

At the station, the brothers sat down. Ed played with his pocket watch, swinging it in circles round and round, while Alphonse either watched or fiddled with his loincloth. Both wished they could have stayed a while longer, but there journey has yet to end. Maybe they would meet Ichigo's group again someday.

A whistle. A rush. And they were off. Rising, they began toward the third train car, but suddenly Colonel Roy Mustang stepped out, uniform and all. And much to Ed's dismay, so did Armstrong along with Hawkeye.

"What are you guys doing here? You know we were on our way to Central right now..." Ed said. The thought of Mustang anywhere near the Rockbell home disturbed him to say the least.

"The direct orders of the Furher. I'm here on official business, and you're old mission is postponed. Now, you will be helping me, and then cleaning up some dirty work."

"Great," Ed muttered. Mustang was stuck with him, or rather, he was stuck with Mustang. He hopped out of the third car, and led Al, Hawkeye, Armstrong, and Mustang all the way BACK to the Rockbell home. Together, the muscle man, walking suit of armor, military man and his over-protective body guard, along with a short blonde boy in a flashy coat made quite an interesting looking bunch, walking through such a small town.

* * *

"Well, as long as were stuck here, we might as well get some training done." Ichigo stated, as he backed his chair away from the table. Orihime, Chad, and Uryu followed.

"Alright, but you're fighting me first." Uryu grinned the sentence through his mouth.

"And why is that?"

"Because I'm gonna win, and were enemies."

"Whatever!"

Uryu had the first move. He shot blue arrows this way and that, never once hitting Ichigo.

"What was that?" Ichigo laughed, "You look like your not paying attention!"

Uryu stopped the arrows completely. He then walked over to Ichigo, and said, "I think they're back."

"Huh? Who?"

"You stupid... Ed and Al. Along with some guys dressed in blue. But one doesn't have a shirt."

"Then let's go get them!" Ichigo yelped with unexpected joy. Uryu flinched at the sound, but obediently followed him down the hill.

* * *

"Ok, let me get this straight," Ed said, mockingly, "YOU are here, because the FURHER said there was a_ light_?!"

"A BLUE light; alchemical. We thought it was another human transmutation." Roy responded. Ed's face tightened. Then, out of nowhere, Ichigo popped up.

"Hey Ed. Who are they?"

"Shouldn't we be asking you the same question?" Mustang retorted calmly.

"I'm Ichigo Kurisaki, Substitute Shinigami."

Mustang had no idea what that meant, but still granted him his name:"I'm Colonal Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist."

"Alchemist? You mean that crazy voodoo shit insane ancient scientists do with their crazy-ass chants?! HA!"

"VOODOO SHIT?! _CHANTS?!" _Ed exclaimed. His anger was written all over his face. "Ichigo, I'll show you voodoo!" He yelled, and meanwhile Uryu, Chad and Orihime stopped running, and knelt down panting next to Ichigo. Apparently, there was no flash step in this world. _Damn. _

Ed slammed his palms together, alchemical waves seeping through his fingers. Then he forced his palms to the ground. All of a sudden, the shape of the ground changed, and a huge plateau raised about 200 feet high, taking Ichigo, Orihime, Chad, and Uryu with it. There eyes bugged out of their unbelieving heads.

"HOLY CRAP!" Ichigo exclaimed, looking down at the now ant-sized people. "Can you teach me how to do that...?"

Orihime whispered to Chad, "Wow, I thought that boy was just a little shrimp, and now I see why he's in the military. Jeeze, he's even stronger than Ich-"***

"I'll get stronger." Ichigo interrupted instantly, not wanting her to finnish the words that surly would burn. "I will." he finished, reluctantly jumping to the base, only to be met with two furious alchemists. Hawkeye seemed not to notice, or rather, not to care.

"Ed, I wanna spar with you." Ichigo stated with pride. I guess he barely knew Ed's character.

"Nah, I don't think so." Ed muttered, eyes closed, hands in his pockets.

"Why the Hell not?! I-"

"Fullmetal here has official business to do with me. Once that's done, he's leaving for his next mission, then has time for his search." Mustang said, his cocky grin written on his face. Again, Hawkeye remained unamused.

"Exactly. There's no time to goof off and entertain you," Ed said, beginning to walk again, "If that was impressive, you're not worth fighting with."

Ichigo glowered at him. The same stare was returned. Poor Ichigo didn't know that the only reason Ed refused to spar was because he would have to show his secret first.* He didn't want to.

* * *

"What is with that kid?!" Ichigo complained. The group was only half listening. "I mean, I'm a DEATH GOD for crying out loud! He thinks he can beat a GOD? He's a human!"

"Well," Uryu stepped in, "you're a substitute God, not a real one. Anyway, you're half human, not the brightest bulb on the planet, he owned you with just an example of what he can do, and you're acting like you're 5!"

"DAMN IT URYU! Shut UP! I can take him!"

Uryu was interrupted before he could even start making an argument.

"Maybe you should just try and impress him so he realizes you're capable." Chad said in a soft voice.

"Good idea Chad!" Orihime exclaimed, "Now all we have to do is impress him!"

"Hmmm..." they sighed in thought.

...

"I swear!" Ed shouted, "I didn't transmute anything since they got here, except the plateau, but that was to prove a point."

"It's alchemy, Ed. We have to investigate. Where were you when it happened?"

"I was sparring with Al, then on the other side of the hill I saw the light. That's when Ichigo, Chad, Uryu, and Orihime came."

"So they must have something to do with the light."

"Jeeze Einstein, never would have guessed." Ed said sarcastically.

"Settle down Edward. Don't get so anxious this early on."

Edward huffed. The discussion continued, until it was an argument. Meanwhile, Ichigo and the group were pathetically trying to figure out a way to impress Ed.

Some time later, Ichigo got sick of thinking and decided to use a trick he used on his teacher... He got an 'A' that semester, and was ready for an 'E.E' with 'E.D.'**** He found some of the alchemy books Winry saved from the fire, and turned to a page that looked complicated to him. It was filled with complicated arrays, and a few transmutation circles which were looking more and more like crazy voodoo shit the more he stared at them. He then waited for Ed to walk in.

When Ed DID walk in, Ichigo made some "intelligent" noises of "understanding". Grunts like, "uhh huh. Oh, I see, so that triggers the that thing and then the friction carries electrical signals to the hymeophiliactic field which then..." Yeah, mostly just combinations of big words he didn't understand, and made up words that to Ichigo, sounded 'science-ey'.

Ed stopped and looked at him, and Ichigo knew it. He thought _this is it, Ed is impressed_. Then, Ed walked over to the couch Ichigo was "reading" on, took the book, and read the actual meaning of each of the circles, and the complicated array.

"You know, Ichigo, if I were you I wouldn't be snooping around in peoples personal notes."

"Notes? WHO?"

"These were notes I took when I was in training...AKA, when I was eight."

Now Ichigo felt stupid. He would never compete in intellect. No, he had to figure something else out before Ed figured _him_ out.

"Oh, and Ichigo? Pretending to read makes you look stupid. Stop trying to impress me, because I will not spar with you."

Ichigo's jaw dropped in reluctant shock.

* * *

**A/N: Please read about the *s**

*** _ means that Ichigo doesn't really think anything at all about Uryu's point, it goes right through his thick head. If anyone wants to know what the original thought was, just ask me in a PM, I'll tell you.**

*** Ed's secret is the automail. He doesn't want everyone to know**

**-**Ichigo thinks Uryu is not manly, but since he has a crush on Orihime, he takes it back. **

***** Ed's alchemy is a trick Orihime hasn't seen, so she is impressed and thinks Edward is stronger. I personally don't agree, and believe Ichigo is WAY stronger. Though, Edward is way smarter. Please don't debate about this.**

******EE= exceeds expectations. E.D = Ed. See what I did there..? ;D **

* * *

_I'm going to clarify one more time; Ichigo is stronger than Edward in this fanfic, Edward is stronger. Ed's intellect is his biggest strength, so I made Ichigo look really stupid. Ichigo has no way of proving his strength unless he fights Ed, so right now he just looks really dopey, sorry Ichigo fans. He'll look better soon!New characters in next chapter, by the way. ;D_


	3. Chapter 3

... CHAPTER 3

**Hey, this chapter is strange, because I'm trying to get new characters involved. Bear with me, I like to think this chapter's pretty funny. Tell me if it is, if it isn't... But next chapter is going to be insane! I'll explain at the end, so ENJOY!**

"I just can't think of anything to impress him!" Ichigo yelled. Suddenly, Orihime popped up.

"I got it! What's that mission he's going on? I mean, it has something to do with an event that happened around here, so we can all go uncover to solve it, like detectives!"

The smile on her face convinced the group to at least ask what it was the military was after.

"We're trying to find the origin of the blue light that flashed yesterday. You know, when you came?" Ed slipped in the last part smoothly. Everyone thought how easy this mission was.

"That was the Senkeimon Kisuke opened for us. It's like a portal to different worlds." Ichigo stated blandly.

"...Well, that's great and all, but I CAN'T FILE A REPORT SAYING ALIANS CAME THROUGH A PORTAL AND ARE NOW LIVING WITH ME!" Ed's yelling brought Winry down from her slumber.

"So," she muttered, "You don't tell us you're leaving, and don't tell us you're back?"

"Sorry Winry," said Al, "we have an important mission and we didn't think to tell you, sorry."

His softness didn't startle her, so she just sighed in agreement, looking at all of the military who she now had to house. The one's who were part of that same military that ended up killing her parents. She couldn't say no to them, though, because her parents would have let them stay. She simply turned around and went to the basement to work on new automail.

Over lunch, there was talk about training, how Ed and Roy's reports would be filled out, and chatter about Soul society and central. It was mostly Armstrong who talked, though.

"OH, CENTERAL IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND FULL OF TALL BUILDINGS! IT IS THE AMESTRIAN TRADE MARK CITY AND WE COULD ALL TELL YOU WHY!" his voice boomed. Eventually Hawkeye just took him outside to chop firewood.

The day was coming to an end, and the entire house sat down for an hour of relaxation. They all couldn't agree on an activity, so Granny settled the 'youngster's argument' declaring they would all watch a movie.

"Let's watch an action movie!" Ichigo decided. Nobody wanted to watch an action movie, though, and Orihime explained to Ichigo "our lives are practically action movies.."

"What about we watch a comedy?" Suggested Pinako. The group discussed how lame most of the new comedies were, since they were basically all the same plot; none.

"Can we do a drama?" Asked Orihime. Winry sat up straiter and said it'd be a great idea, and granny Pinako agreed to it as long as she could smoke while she watched. However, Edward, Ichigo, Hawkeye and Uryu were so strongly against it, everyone agreed to find a different kind of movie.

"I just think we should watch a sci-fi. It'll have action, but it's got science and fiction for excitement, and it's guarenteed not to be stupid." Said Winry. They consitered, but with Ichigo's complaining, it was a no-go.

Sighing, nobody could agree on a movie.

"I'VE GOT IT!" everyone turned to Armstrong expectantly. "WE SHOULD WATCH A DOCUMENTARY! THE HISTORY OF THE POTATO FAMINE!" everyone's hope of finding a movie faded to frustration, as Winry drew her wrench to hit the massive behemoth over the head.

"How about a mystery?" Ed suggested. "But then we'd have to think." responded Uryu, referring to Ichigo, critically. Chad sighed at the rivalry.

"Fantasy?" Questioned Al. Most people agreed, but Ed, Ichigo, and Mustang felt strongly against it.

Uryu spoke up. "Ok guys, since we can't agree, how about High school musical and call it a day?" Nobody could think of any way to respond to that.

They all argued, no side let up, and no matter how many times a good idea was suggested, it was brushed off. And Roy _insisted_ that a romance would be perfect.

"ENOUGH!" Riza shouted, much to their surprise. "let's compromise. Either way, someone is gonna be against the movie we watch, and since it's gloomy and dark outside we have no choice. No body suggested a horror film, so at least we agree about how ridiculous it will be.."

Everyone thought about how so NOT scared they would be. Slowly, they nodded in agreement.

"Ok, it's settled then." She stated, poker face composure returning. "The Hills Have Eyes."*

Everyone shivered at her certainty.

;;;;;;;;;;;;

Mid way through the movie, the protagonist was making his way slowly to the door, hands bleeding, and cannibals inside. The whole Rockbelle house wouldn't admit it, but everyone was glued in their chairs with fear, and slowly scooting closer to whoever was next to them. Eventually, they were practically sitting on top of each other.

Suddenly, it was quiet. The sun had set, and the only sound you would hear is hearts pounding in chests. Then, there was a thump.

"What was that?" whimpered Orihime. There was a moan on the other side of the door.

"Ed, what's going on, if that's you, you're dead-" accused Winry. Then she realized how small his pupals were with fear. He wasn't playing a prank on her.

"Someone has to do something," said Chad. No one was gonna answer that door, though.

"Why don't you do it, Armstrong?" said Ichigo.

"Oh, I couldn't, this isn't my house."

"Oh please, you're like family!" Winry sweet-talked. Secretly, they just wanted this over.

"Someone open the God damn door!" Pinako yelled. Then, Mustang stood. "sir?"

He slid on his gloves. Hawkeye rose to watch his back, gun in hand.

_one step. two step. three step. Almost there! four step- _

All that was heard was the silent whimpers of assumptions; who was behind that door..? To them, a cannibal was at the door.

Mustang gripped the door knob. Held his hand up as if ready to snap. Right now, he was a hero.

_Turn the handle, there, slowly, carefully... pull..._

"AHHHHH!" everyone screamed, holding onto one another, feet flailing, and eyes bugging.

The person on the other side of the door began to scream as well, in shock, just causing the screaming to turn into tears of fear.

"HOLD IT! HOLD IT! What the hell is going on in here?!" Screeched Toshiro Hitsugya. His Lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku, cupping her breasts in shock.

The Captain and Co-Captain's eyes drifted throughout the room, stopping at Ichigo and his group.

"YOU?!" Yelped Ichigo, followed by a shrug of fake certainty.

"Yeah, for some reason I tried to get to the human world, there was a hollow, and I ended up here, in some... OTHER world."

"Yeah, that's what happened to us! And my breasts are hurting." Matsumoto added. Mustang couldn't help but look down her shirt, followed by a nearly killing shot by Hawkeye.

Toshiro looked at the screen, and put on a face of disgust. "What are you people watching?"

At the same time, tone the same dead pan as Riza's, the house said, "The Hills Have Eyes."

_... _

That evening, Pinako cooked a dinner bigger than the people who were consuming it. Nobody complained. They simply dug in, with exception to Al.

"Yum!" Exclaimed Orihime, "Pinako, your stew is super great! You have to teach me sometime!"

"I'm glad you enjoy it!" The compliment clearly made her day.

Uryu, who sat across from Al, was puzzled. _There is this amazing meal in front of him, and he won't take a bite? Why?_

When he thought about it, he never saw him eat; not the night before, or breakfast OR lunch. Eventually, he had to ask. He just got here; he deserved to know. Plus, He couldn't help being curious, right?

"Um... Alphonse?" He began, "aren't you going to eat anything?"

Conversation stopped. Winry looked down at the floor, a saddened look on her face. Suddenly Ed found his fork very interesting.

"Uhm..." Al rubbed his head, realizing the shock that was written on Toushiro's face was because of his high voice. He sunk deeper into his chair, embarrassment portrayed in his soul filled eyes. Six people in the house knew about him. Six didn't.

Abruptly, Ed stood up, and walked away from the table, pain flashing across his features. Everyone saw it. The knowing six stared down at their meals in silence.

"Was it something I said?" asked Uryu, feeling guilty. Toshiro's eyes followed in the direction Ed walked. _He's keeping something from us...and I don't like it._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey everyone, hope you're enjoying this totally goofy story! Happy reading, A/N at end.**

That night, Ed, Ichigo, and Toshiro shared a room. Orihime and Matsumoto went into Winry's room with her, while Chad, Uryu and Armstrong shared a room that had two beds and a couch. Alphonse sat in a wooden chair and watched a movie, the fantasy he wanted before, while Pinako prodded Riza to take her bed. Riza stated that she needed to watch over the Colonel, and Pinako reluctantly went to her bed, allowing Riza to sleep on the couch beside Roy (who slept in the arm chair).

"Hey, Lieutenant?" Al's soft voice drifted throughout the room, surfacing into Riza's ears; "Yes, Alphonse?"

"Why does it hurt his feelings so badly-" He didn't need to finnish the sentence for Riza to know what he was talking about; the earlier events that took place at dinner. About Alphonse's lack of consumption.

"It's because he loves you, Al, and thinks it offends you when people ask."

Al sat silently, wishing he could run into Ed's room and scream, 'Just because I hurt doesn't mean you have to as well!'.

"But it doesn't offend me," Al started, "and if he were in the same situation as these people, then he would ask too."

"I know, Al. I know. But this is Edward we're talking about. He's stubborn beyond compare." Riza spoke. _Stubborn. And beyond compare... except maybe to the Colonel. _

As if on cue, the Colonel himself spoke up, like he sensed her thoughts. "But Riza, it doesn't matter, because if he is dragging his little brother down in a hole with him, he needs to learn otherwise. AKA, Alphonse needs to speak to him about his stubborn behavior. And, we need to leave for Central tomorrow, I've already done the paperwork for him on the blue light. He just needs to keep the secret for one night. But has already made himself look suspicious. Jeeze, Al, I'll talk to him tomorrow, and I'll tell him to grow up myself", the Colonel ranted. There he went, stubborn as ever. If a suit of armor could feel sick, he would. 'Just earned Ed another lecture. ANOTHER.

"WOW!" exclaimed Matsumoto from inside Winry's room. Orihime had went out to get a midnight snack, leaving Rangiku and Winry alone to change into their pj's.

"What?" questioned Winry, still shirtless.

"Winry! Your breasts are so cute! They're large, but small enough to be perky! I've got to take a picture!" Matsumoto grabbed her camera and raised it up to her eye, grinning, her drunk-ness portrayed through her actions. That night, she had QUITE a few Sakkes.

"What is that...?" Winry asked, extending a shaky finger out to where the camera rested in Rangiku's hand. The technology in Amestris was not developed quite as far as the technology in the other human world.

Because of Winry's curiosity, Matsumoto was very enthusiastic to respond-

"_This?!_ This is a camera! You stand in front of it and look sexy, then the picture comes out just as sexy as you actually looked! After that, you leave it around so that guys come over and 'accidentally' view your genitals, making them like you more than they did before. A master piece!"

"Really? That's really what it's used for?! Can I take it apart?!"

"No no no, take it apart _after_ we take apart some guys egos!"

"I LOVE you Rangiku!"

"I know! I love my breasts more!"

"Then lets take a picture of them, and then love mine too!"

"WHORE- AY! WINRY, YOU ARE FANTASTIC!"

The two of them were sitting on the floor stripping naked, and taking pictures. then planning where to leave them, when Orihime walked in.

"Ahh! What are you guys doing?!" she screamed, shielding her eyes.

"JOIN US!"

Poor Orihime was molested that night.

...

"I wonder what's going on in there." Ed said, turning towards the wall where women's cries of joy were pulsating from.

"Depends, is it Rangiku's room?" Asked Toshiro.

"Yeah."

"Then you really don't need to know." Toshiro stated, still suspiciously staring at Ed. He knew why he could see him, and why there were no hollows in this world, but the Senkeman didn't even concern him. What he really was curious about was why this kid was so cocky, knowing what they were, and why he left the table so rudely that night.

Ed shrugged at the comment. "Just curious is all."

Ichigo trudged into the room. "Ugh, Why are thy bein' so damn loud...? Wait... is that Matsumoto..? Never mind, then."

The two knowing boys brushed it off by putting a one-name label on the noise: Rangiku Matsumoto. Ed just stood in bewilderment, then decided to ignore it.

Ed wore a long sleeve shirt and pants to bed, hoping that neither boys would ask about his limbs. The hope was lost. Both boys stopped, and stared at the small child's foot, but dumbly, Elric didn't even notice...or maybe he didn't choose to notice. He continued signing random shit Mustang told him to, just because the Colonel filled out one report. Well, Equivilent exchange, right? He'd yet to even write the report about the train, and Bald... it could wait. For now, he was unknowingly signing to hunt down scar.

He yawned, and stretched, earning him a creak in the metal arm, and more attention in that direction. Toshiro spotted the hand, which was the same metallic tone as his leg. This time, Ed acknowledged it. All became quiet when Ed's gaze drifted from the two teen's eyes, to his fake limb, and back.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Cooler than skin...?"

And the subject was closed.

* * *

**A/N: New characters are coming next chapter! If you can guess who, I'll give you a virtual cookie! :3**

**Anyway...**

**This is going to be mostly humor, and eventual action when I create an actual conflict. However, this is going to be primarily humor. I don't really have anything else to say. But this chapter was way shorter than the last few. Sorry guys! :)**

**~jmtothemusic 3**


	5. Chapter 5

That night, Ichigo sat awake, restless to say the least. Though, that didn't seem to be the case for Edward. He was laying, softly snoring under the sheets, so small that you wouldn't see him if the sound of his breath wasn't audible.

Ichigo rolled over, catching a glimpse of Toshiro, who's eyes were wide, and was against his own will wearing green floral PJ's (much to his demise).

He didn't bother turning to Ichigo when he muttered, "Do you want something, Ichigo Kurisaki?"

"I wanna know your opinion... on..." He stuttered.

"On tonights events. Yes, it's strange, and I intend to find out about it."

"Yea... It's like he's a living machine..."

"It's called a prosthetic, automail to be precise...It means he's missing that limb. An arm and leg."

"Yea, come to think about it, did Al change to go to bed? He didn't change for dinner, or for the movie. What's up with that guy? Does he really think it's necessary to be _that_ on guard and protected _all the time?_ What, is someone gonna stick a rifle through a nook in the wall and kill us all? It's like he's got some phobia!"

"That's what I mean by 'intending to find out'. We'll ask them tomorrow, and if that kid leaves the table, then we'll ask the man with the black hair-"

"Colonel Mustang? Yea! I'm sure he'll know somethin'. Ya know, he's Ed's commanding officer."

"Ahh, so that's why Elric has such a big head about him. Part of the military. It's impressive, I've never heard of kids enrolling in the human world's military. And he's about 13...14 maybe."

Ichigo smirked. "Ya know, out of all of us, you're the only one who guessed his age. Maybe it's because you're just as-"

Toushiro glared at him, keeping the words "short" from escaping his mouth. Ichigo laughed so hard. Toushiro just frowned. Children are short... He was NOT a child.

Edward groaned in pain; That night, it was raining... scratch that; POURING. And when it pours, his ports ache, reminding him of the painful night that he committed his sins, the night he wished to undo.

He cringed at the thought.

Ichigo turned to see Edwards groan. His eyebrow twitched in confusion. _What is UP with that kid..? _

Just as "that kid" was about to respond in any way he could think of, he was interrupted by a slutty "OH ROY!" coming from across the hall. Ichigo blushed vibrantly, and Shiro rolled over, knowing _just_ the big breasted woman who had that sort of voice.

"What?" Ed asked. The two boy's sent him a flat glance, assuming that kind of ignorance was sarcasm. But upon seeing Edward's open looking face, the boy's were caught between a decision of either explaining 'the talk' to the kid, laughing at him, or having him figure it out for himself. It ended up being a cross between the last two options.

The next morning, after viewing Edward's sexual encounter, Toshiro awoke to the smell of buttermilk pancakes wafting up thru the floor boards. Acknowledging that since neither Ichigo nor Edward were awake, he realized he MIGHT be able to call dibs on the big one today. But after hearing a feminine squeal coming from Matsumoto's room, he decided against it.

He stalked his way to the kitchen like a zombie, except he completely followed the hypnotizing scent of the pancake batter that he soon could hear sizzling in the pan on the wood stove in the little house. The sound of voices murmuring floated into his ears, and suddenly he felt a bit anxious... Who was that he heard? _Somebody familiar..._

Upon arriving in the kitchen, Toushiro spotted the smoking midget, who's name escaped him, serving a table of seven. Winry, a very irritated Riza, the perverted Colonel, the huge metal can, and...

"AIZEN?!" the icy haired boy screeched with an audible voice crack in the upper register; "GIN, TOUZAN, AND THAT BASTARD _AIZEN!_?"

"good morning, Captain Hitsugaya" Gin addressed him. There was a RIDICULOUSLY large stack of syrup logged pancakes in front of him, which had clearly all lost their molecular purpose at this point. The man sat up strait with a menacing grin on his face, and closed eyes that somehow stared directly inside Hitsugaya to the point where he really felt molested.

"Hi kid," said the midget, "you guys know each other? Go to camp together?"

"Oh, yeah, we just ate wieners and slept in tents together while we melted marshmallos and drank coco!" he shouted sarcastically, flustered and afraid.

"Then why don't you have some coco and sit next to him?" suggested the midget, not picking up on the sarcasm...or rather, ignoring it.

"Yes," spoke Aizen, "I requested that these people save a seat for you, right beside me." He said, then added for extra measure, "and Momo, too. " He grinned and Toshiro shrunk visibly.

"Hey, " Said winry, "Aizen said you and him met on Christian mingle...some sight that apparently is on the 'internet', and went to the old fogy farm together! Ya know, if it doesn't work out I have a mentor who's name is Garfeild..."

"YOU SAID WHAT?!"

"I simply condensed and simplified all the details of our relationship in a way a normal human could comprehend." Aizen innocently smiled in a way that only Toshiro could see the true smirk. Behind him, Edward stumbled into the kitchen. "Hey granny, what 'ya stirrin'?"

"Oh, sit your ass down and shut your little mouth."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' SO-" he ranted, when Winry chucked one of her screw drivers at his face. "Hey, why not the wrench?" He said, "This is a change.."

"This big guy next to me named Aizen told me he would improve it's functions for me...so he has it." She responded, eyes sparkling up at Aizen with complete admiration.

Edward glanced at the man, and sat beside him whispering "THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE!" grinning at the new guy who was easily creating peace in the house.

He simply nodded and watched as the little Shiro convulsed with anger.

"So," Alphonse started, "what experience have you..?"

"Al..." Ed said awkwardly, not understanding where he was going with this...

"Oh," Aizen started , " there was that one time behind the castle..."

"Yeah, he's got a big one...!" Toshiro said, faces all turning to him with dropping jaws. He hadn't realized what he just said.

"No!" he tried to cover up the sexual statement he didn't mean to slip, " I meant when you said experience that we fought and..." He trailed off noticing that nobody wanted to know about the experience which had been labled as, "Rangiku Matsumoto" .

Once served their pancakes, Ichigo and his group awoke in a similar manner to Toushiro and went into the kitchen, only to find Aizen.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE _YOU_ DOING HERE?!" Ichigo shouted with shock and fear.

"I'm eating, Ichigo Kurisaki." spoke Aizen softly so he'd have to listen hard to hear him.

"What the Hell you guys," said Ed with a bored tone, "This guy is like, my hero...he took Winry's wrench! Now she can't hit anybody!"

Orihime froze at these words, knowing that this was intentionally to make Winry defenseless, not because he needed her to be, but to intimidate the others. This was frustrating, to say the least...not to mention, Ed, Al, Roy and Riza didn't understand just how powerful Aizen is, so at the moment, all of them were defenseless... and there was no way Orihime or anybody could just TELL them in front of Aizen himself...he'd kill them all before the words even got out!

"Why don't you take a seat," offered Gin, "there's one right next to me that's open, heh."'

He was cheerful as always, driving Ichigo nuts. Something occured to him after that.

"Where's Rangiku." He said with a low, somewhat intimidating voice.

"Oh..." started Orihime, "don't worry, she's fine..." glancing at Winry who immediately remembered the fun they had with the camera the night before, and nervously stuffed some more food into her overly-full mouth. Aizen watched with his signature 'I'm not doing anything wrong, except killing all of you and taking over the world' smile. Toushiro watched him like a hawk, noticing his rival was observing Winry's behavior. It made Toushiro squirm.

Just then, Matsumoto went skipping into the kitchen like a small child, shouting to Winry, "Winry, I left the pornographic pictures-"

She stopped dead in the sight of Gin. Everyone fell silent; some because they understood the situation, others because they didn't.

"Rangiku..."

_Cliffhanger._

* * *

**Author's ramblings; ahahaha...sorry for the cliffy, to be honest I don't wanna rush this scene. **

**I hope it made sense what the heck I was writing...I know it's a bit raw, but I just can't bear to edit any more today! **

**For the Toushiro humor, if it didn't make sense, Aizen didn't want to explain everything so he simplified everything...for example; you're a super hero who had to kill _because he's taking over the world...Aizen would have explained it like this; 'you need to punch your camp friend because he's stealing everyone's cabin clothing.' **

**Also, the 'what experience have you' might have not made sense...Al wanted to know what experience Aizen had with Toushiro- not sexually, and Aizen responded as though he was a pervert XD. Toushiro thought he was talking about the fight they had behind the castle, not the ** they did behind the castle (which was implied by Aizen, though not true). Then he said 'yeah, he's got a big one' not realizing that it sounded sexual, because Toushiro was talking about the army, the castle, etc... he couldn't explain himself. **

**You gotta know an author is losing it when they have to EXPLAIN their own work for it to make sense...sorry guys! **

**Beside that, I hope you're enjoying this story so far! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

"_Rangiku.."_

_Cliffhanger._

* * *

Matsumoto did not react the way everyone expected her to; she simply turned back around from where she stood in the kitchen, grabbing an apple from the decorative bowl of fruit, and stalked back toward Winry's room, a small stumble in her step.

.

.

.

Nobody dared to question what happened; nobody wanted to know about the past relationship between Gin and Matsumoto; so the remainder of breakfast was continued in a deep, utter silence.

While Winry helped Granny Pinako with the dishes, Orihime wiped down the table and asked Uryu and Chad to help out by organizing the dining room a bit. When the tortuous house jobs were complete, Orihime approached Winry with intent;

"Hey Winry, about the pictures from last night..."

Winry grinned in understanding; although she wasn't too happy about the pornography that Matsumoto was starring the two girls in, she did enjoy taking apart the camera.

"Yeah, let's find a good spot to leave them."

* * *

Edward, Ichigo, Toushiro and Mustang stood outside with axes in hand; preparing to chop some firewood. Although Armstrong was punching trees with his bare, muscular hands, the four guys didn't quite embellish on his tactics, and instead decided to go with the traditional way of chopping firewood.

"So..." Ichigo began awkwardly, trying to spark some interesting conversation with the other guys, rather than just do his job.

"What", snapped Toushiro, not really caring to hear what Ichigo had to say.

"I was just wondering what you guys thought about this morning, I mean it was weird, right?"

Nobody made a move to talk about it.

"I don't know why you're interested. It's their problem." answered Ed, trying to clear all the awkwardness around the four.

Just then, before the situation dared to become worse, Armstrong came trotting up with his flexed muscles moist with sweat. Mustang prayed that he wouldn't have to feel his biceps.

"I HAVE CHOPPED ALL OF THE NEEDED FIREWOOD, LET US EMBARK ON OUR JOURNEY BACK INDOORS."

"...Okay..?" said Ichigo with a questioning look to the others. _Is this guy completely nuts?!_

The men (and boys) entered the quaint home and removed their outside attire, walking around the kitchen mindlessly.

Roy searched through the cupboards for anything worth wasting calories on, and easily became disappointed and bored. That is, until something caught his eye.

On the kitchen counter lay a small, backwards photo. Roy stared at it quizzically before curiosity got the best of him. He flipped the picture over.

...

..

.

"Hey, what's wrong, Colonel..?" Asked Alphonse who'd just entered the room, spotting the man holding the photo. When Roy didn't respond, the 7 foot suit of armor peered over his shoulder to see what had him frozen, until the armor blushed wildly and tried to stutter out something to say about the picture in front of him.

"W-winry's...naked?!"

Toushiro heard from the other room, and came inside to see what had the two so stunned. He took one look at the photo, and turned away with a small blush and an irritated twitch.

"Rangiku, I need to have a word with you..."

Edward and Matsumoto were making their way into the kitchen, when she saw Roy holding Winry's nude picture. She grinned internally, then decided that Winry would probably prefer somebody her own age.

"Hi Roy~" the breasted woman said, plucking the pornographic picture from his hand and replacing it with something... better.

Ed saw the new nude picture of what looked like a boob in Roy's hand, and the kid became flustered, red, and angry.

"A-alphonse, what are you looking at?! Colonel! YOU'RE SHOWING MY LITTLE BROTHER PORN, YOU PERVERT!" Ed hollered at the top of his lungs, earning him a shocked look from Roy who dropped the picture on the ground and put his hands above his head, and Alphonse's awkward "S-sorry, brother..."

Toushiro continued to plan his lecture for his idiot lieutenant, spotting her on her way toward him.

But she brushed right past him. _Why, that..._

She then made her way toward Edward, who was looking furious at his little brother, took his hand (much to his surprise), and stuck Winry's picture in it. Before he could process what had happened, he felt a breath in his ear whispering; "You're welcome!"

...

"WINRY!"

* * *

That evening, Ed earned himself a bruise for calling Winry an...interesting name, and there was much conflict in the house about what the Colonel was showing Al. That earned _him_ a death glare from Riza (which was worse than any bruise Winry could give anybody), and a long rant from Ed, which he only half listened to.

But the most interesting situation that night was when everyone was forced to decide where Aizen and his poesy would sleep for the night.

"They can stay with us", Ed suggested out of thankfulness that Aizen still had Winry's wrench when she tried to kill him for seeing her naked pictures.

"No!" shouted Ichigo and Toushiro at the same time, Ichigo looking stupid waving his hands in front of his face as though Aizen was some contagious disease.

Ed cocked an eyebrow, curious about the two boy's behavior, enticing them to tell him what was going on. But the two were sitting across from Aizen, who held a look on his face which scared the two from protesting further.

"Personally," said Winry in an annoyed tone, "I think we should make Edward sleep outside!"

He rolled his eyes, "Is this about your slutty picture, 'cause that isn't my fault that you-"

"Settle down, Edward." stated Roy, making Ed all the more angry.

"Come on, Winry", croaked Pinako (the smoking midget), "teenaged boys are curious, you can't blame Edward for being-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Okay," Uryu began cautiously, "The only way to make this even between you and Winry is if you flash her."

Everyone stared at the suggester, Winry scrunching up her nose in 'disgust' and Edward crossing his legs in embarrassment. Uryu actually looked excited about the idea.

So it was silently decided that Uryu would sleep outside, and Aizen's poesy would take his room. Poor Chad was left to find himself a new place to sleep.

* * *

**_A/N: Updates are going to slow down from here, sorry. I'm going to France for a while and will be busy, then between school, other stories... you understand, right..?_**

**_Thanks for reading, favs/follows, Reviews..._**

**_Reviews are inspiration! :D_**

**_~jmtothemusic_**


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